Thursday, August 30, 2007

When all else fails, defer blame towards soccer

I am all riled up about how the Galaxy are killing David Beckham, but this is just too good to pass up: former Ohio State president Karen Holbrook denounced the culture of rioting at the university, then later back-tracked to everybody’s favorite fallback line — …in Europe, they literally kill people at soccer matches. Oh, of course! Let's cover up our problem with something completely unrelated, thousands of miles away! You know, that death in our community is a problem. But I wouldn't worry about it too much - in Iraq, people die literally every day!



Diesel, I’m looking at you on this one, as I’ve never been to Italy. But I have been to Columbus numerous times, and just knowing what I know, I’d rather walk through Italy with a picture of the Pope’s body engulfed in flames on my t-shirt than walk through Columbus in a Michigan t-shirt. But hey, they literally kill people at soccer matches in Europe, as you know.

But that’s not all. In the recent edition of SI, an ancient ‘Bama fan, Ken Fowler, tried to defend why selling out a spring game doesn’t make them “subhuman” by saying in some countries, they kill soccer players, don’t they? Yes, Ken, pretend you’re superior to others (in anything, I dare you), God knows you Southern folk have a history of that. I stopped reading the story after that line — but I was on my way there anyway, what with all the Nick Saban/Bear Bryant fellatio going on and all.

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

He's not really our son, you know

One of the best changes this blog hath wrought in my life is how much it's compelled me to do more reading on soccer. Yesterday, I stumbled on this rather uneven, rambling and poorly titled commentary piece on the MLS by Martin Samuel of the Times Online.

The author's main point — when he wasn't making long-winded analogies that only served to call his sobriety into question — was that the Galaxy's mishandling of David Beckham was not only irresponsible w/r/t the player's future, but the reputation of the league itself.



This gives America a status it does not deserve. Say what you like about Total Network Solutions of Llansantffraid-ym-Mechain (now known as The New Saints, and thank heavens for that): they might have had a daft name, but if their right midfield player had an ankle the size of a hippo’s backside, they would not have played him, being a serious professional football club. No league with grand aspirations would pick a man who was badly injured simply because the occasion demanded it, or let him play on consecutive days on either side of the Atlantic, merely because he wanted to, just as no league of stature would rearrange its fixture list around one competitor.

The whole process is shockingly Mickey Mouse and must pain those American fans with a genuine love or knowledge of the game. It is a bigger mess than any of us could have imagined.

It's an interesting point, and one I hadn't really considered until I read this, despite my qualification as an American with a genuine love of the game. But I think where the author gets mixed up is that being an American soccer fan does not mean you have invested any stake in the MLS. I think it's too bold to say that most American soccer fans don't give two fucks about the MLS with any degree of certainty, but if I had to make a bet it would be that. But at the same time, most American soccer fans — even those who are unconcerned with the MLS right now — would like to see the league flourish, and realize that Becks' arrival is its best chance at doing just that.

Now, it's simply a matter of figuring out exactly what the goal for the MLS is, because it's fairly clear that the people who will play the biggest role in getting there — Alexi Lalas, commish Don Garber, and Beckham himself — haven't really thought things out.

It's easy for people from the MLS to dismiss sentiments like the ones expressed by Samuel as the same tired shit Europeans have trotted out any time American soccer is in the news. But this isn't quite the same as the world's glee every time misfortune/horrible play befalls the USMNT, or another Yank washes out of European soccer and runs back home with his receding hairline between his legs. The difference is that, now, the English — if not the rest of the world — actually have something invested in American soccer, if not the rest of the world. Beckham is still a member of England's national team (however begrudgingly for Steve McLaren), and he's still the most revered footballer in the world. However, the concern is simply for him, not for the league he plays in. And that only lasts as long as he's relevant internationally; the second he's really done with the Three Lions, I have a feeling things will peter out a little bit, at least in terms of Europe's concern.

But I have a feeling that interest will remain relatively high within the states, at least for the next three years or so, regardless of Beckham's standing internationally. It's what exactly, however, Americans will find interesting that matters; the MLS can either use Beckham's presence to raise interest in the sport, or they can treat him like the only reason worth showing up to games and expect people to lose interest the second he's gone. And it's clearly the latter that the MLS has done so far, by playing him on TV dates despite a severely sprained ankle, not to mention playing him the night after an international friendly in Europe and the ensuing flight back to the States. Keep that up, and people will begin to believe that the games aren't worth watching without him (which seems to be the general sentiment already).

Truth be told, I don't care much what the rest of the world thinks about American soccer and its fans; they are as ignorant of us as we are, often, of them. And, it's stretch for anyone to think that the MLS will ever really catch on abroad; it's as silly as thinking that Argentinian basketball (were it available on television) would somehow catch on in the states. Pretty much every solvent country in Europe has its league and is partial to it, and one can't blame any of the countries for that. So, ultimately, it doesn't matter if the rest of the world thinks the Americans mishandled Beckham.

But it does matter what Americans think of all of this. And, no one has given anyone but the most hardcore fans of the league — people who, by definition, would have been into it had Beckham not arrived at all — any reason to think this is anything else except a sideshow.

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Mid-Week Fixture: "I'm having a party... it's gonna be very... colorful"

While watching Liverpool-Chelsea recently, a friend of mine questioned, with almost sheer shock, the lack of soccer teams wearing white, particularly while playing at home. This wasn't the first time he had brought it up, but there was little I could say in response other than "Umm, because neither team is known for wearing white" and "because it looks cooler this way." Ironically, he's a Padres fan, so who is he to question why soccer teams never wear white?!



While there are a few notable exceptions, white doesn’t play too prominent of a role on the club level with regard to primary uniforms. A few teams have occasionally used white as their alternate (ie Road) jersey, generally used only when there would be a clash. Mostly these jerseys are designed simply to sell more of them, as they usually only last a year and provide a unique souvenir for that particular season. Even Arsenal wore yellow in the 2006 Champions League final, a color jersey they'd worn as their alternate kit for years.

Internationally, really only England and Germany’s primary jersey colors are white. (Of course, there are more examples, but these are the ones that spring to mind of important, trend-setting teams – closer to home, one could argue that, by recently changing their gear to coincide with David Beckham’s arrival, the L.A. Galaxy have opted for a clean look that resembles Real Madrid, home and away) Most countries have stuck to an established color scheme that reflects their obvious color scheme, although that's not always set in stone, a point I will get to later.

I’m not sure exactly why teams have, in general, stayed away from white. I can only surmise that white materials were more common a century ago, so teams began to distinguish themselves by using new (and now traditional) colors. As a former equipment manager myself, I can appreciate the fact that white is also more difficult to wash, making colors a more attractive and logical option. Furthermore, we live in a colored world, rendering extreme cases of contrast (dark and white) pointless, hence we can watch a game with one team wearing all blue and the other all red. In some cases, white is a painful reminder of the past. Brazil lost the 1950 World Cup final at home to Uruguay, the most painful and unexpected loss in that country's rich soccer history. Four years later, the team ditched white in favor of yellow, won the next World Cup four years later and haven't looked back since.

It’s long been established that Italy and the Netherlands wear blue and orange, respectively, as tributes to the monarchy and founding fathers, to little objection. Both normally wore white shorts with the look, and for a period, Holland wore black, but both seem to be going for the monochromatic look a lot lately. Not only are there looks cool, it’s provided a unique identity and comical looks amongst the fans. When I think of the Italian flag, azzuri springs to mind before I have to correct myself that it's red, white and green; it's the same with the Dutchies. It's safe to say soccer's worldwide popularity has helped create a distinguishable identity for countries that wouldn't exist without the game. They couldn't have done it in white.

The U.S. will trot out at next month’s Women’s World Cup wearing gold, which was argued by Nike as being "the color of premium, the color of victory. The U.S. women have won two World Cups. They've won two Olympic gold medals. If any team on the planet deserves to wear this color, it's them.” Surely, this isn't based presumptuously on the fact that our girls are the best in the world - they aren't even the defending champ, and are no locks this time, either - yet it also doesn't mesh well with Nike's slogan for the team this go-around, "The Best Team You've Never Heard Of." Then why wear gold? Few players remain from the days when they achieved cult status eight years ago, so why establish this golden legacy? It'd be like the Bulls issuing commemorative gold jerseys years after Jordan and Pippen left. Perhaps, as San Diego Union-Tribune writer Mark Ziegler wrote, the US should try to establish a standard uniform across the board to adopt a consistent look. God forbid the United States establishes a soccer tradition. Or, while we're looking to grab people's attention, and color is apparently not an issue, may I suggest something like this instead. FIFA president Sepp Blatter has ideas he'd rather see.


Of course, uniform tinkering is evident worldwide, namely when my favorite four-letter word, FIFA, is involved. World Cup rules state, briefly, that all items on the two teams’ uniforms must have clear contrast, leading to odd-ball uniform matchups like this take place when color like this is so much better.

FIFA most notably screws up Brazil’s classic look at least once a World Cup - ugh - choosing complete contrast over tradition and aesthetics. In some cases, intended uniform combinations are often rendered meaningless, as I can personally attest: when the US faced Paraguay in the Under-20 World Cup opener in Abu Dhabi in 2003, we had to wear white socks with the navy jerseys and white shorts, a combination I had successfully avoided in two years because that combo was never intended to ever happen, and it was cheap-looking. An aside, I also forgot to pack black goalkeeper socks for that trip, and didn’t notice until gameday. I was stuck with this goalkeeping combo, with red socks, for that first game – my uniform nightmare game, apparently. We won the game 3-1. Finding a pair of black Nike soccer socks in Abu Dhabi proved easier than convincing the goalkeeper, Steve Cronin (now of the Galaxy), to change the luck, so he wore the same combo for the next game, a 3-1 loss to Germany (a game in which we were back to normal). Most of the oddball things you might read here can mostly be chalked up to human error and superstition, just like this one.

Of course, some teams just don't have the white uniform option. Barcelona has had its fair share of weird uniform colors (including the aforementioned orange ones), but have not and will never wear white - it's Real Madrid's color. Perhaps Barca could extend that policy to its players' feet, as seemingly everybody wears white boots for them. And others, such as anytime Liverpool and Manchester United play, somebody can't wear red.

Sadly, I still don't have a better answer than "it looks cooler" to give to my friend, but dammit, it just looks cooler! I suppose I can file yet another question like this under the expanding "who knows, it just is" category in soccer discussions, but at least I can give a professional opinion on this argument, rather than just saying "I like this better." Why be stuck wearing white, the least distinguishable, most universal and most bland uniform color, when the options just look better?

Wouldn't we all want to see more of this anyway?

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Monday, August 27, 2007

Uh oh


The idea of the Reds being eliminated by Toulouse in their third-round Champions League qualifier just got a little less outlandish.



Yes, Liverpool still out-classes the French side by a factor of 10, even without Gerrard and defender Jamie Carragher, but few teams rely on its skipper to the degree that the Reds do, and one has to wonder if Torres has had enough time with his new side to actually set the pace for the offense. Factor in the fact that Rafa seems unwilling to ever let Peter Crouch feel like he's a valued member of the team, and one couldn't ask for a better setting for a stunning upset.

The Gerrard injury might have big consequences for England's national squad as well, which was already limping though its summer slate of friendlies and Euro Cup qualifiers. Rooney's already out for the next few matches, Owen is what he's always been (gimpy, but supposedly close to being fit), the keeper situation is up in the air, a once-left-for-dead Beckham is still suffering from his ankle sprain, and Steve McLaren is looking no more competent at the helm of the Lions than the near-lynched Sven.

Essentially, within the next month or so, England could find itself without representation by either its most historically prolific club and its national team in the two most important European competitions.

In a word: Wow.

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Sunday, August 26, 2007

The Best of What's on TV, Aug 27-Sept 2

With all the European Leagues in full swing, it'll be a jam-packed weekend of EPL and Serie A fixtures on Fox Soccer. Nothing really worth watching in La Liga this week, but there is an appearance by Spain's Sevilla in Friday's UEFA Super Cup tilt. If you don't have a ton of room on the DVR, go ahead and delete those episodes of Ken Burns' Jazz you've been sitting on for the last six months, because you're going to need the space.



Tuesday

UEFA Champions League (3rd Qualifying Round, 2nd Leg)

Liverpool v. Toulouse
2 p.m., GolTV
Last year's runner-up is walking the razor's edge against the upstart French side, going into this match with a tie after an unimpressive 1-0 victory in the Liverpool home leg. Sure, it's almost unfathomable that the Reds will actually end up on the losing side of the ledger to a team that's enjoying it's first go-round in the Champions League — that's ever — but stranger things have happened. On the bright side, it appears Rafa Benitez's vendetta against Peter Crouch only applies to domestic matches; the robot-dancing phenom played all 90 minutes against Toulouse in the first leg, contributing the assist in the game's lone goal.

Friday

UEFA Super Cup

AC Milan v. Sevilla
2:30 p.m., Fox Soccer Channel
In one of the stranger hardware games of each season, UEFA Cup champs Sevilla will take on Champions League victors Milan in what could be a surprisingly good game, if recent history is to be taken at face value. Sevilla's going for a second-straight Super Cup after last season's 6-3 drubbing of Barca, so there's reason to believe that any effort by the Rossoneri to hold back will be met with some pretty fierce resistance.

Saturday

Premier League

Fulham v. Tottenham Hotspur
9:55 a.m., Fox Soccer Channel
It's Team America vs. Team Sleeper, as everyone's favorite pick to upset the usual gridlock in the top four of the EPL gets an opportunity to take out some rocky-start aggression on a side that appears well on its way to relegation. But the silver lining here is the opportunity to see former USMNT keeper Kasey Keller back between the pipes, and fellow Yank Clint Dempsey continue to prove that he should have been starting all along for the foundering Cottagers. If Dempsey scores another goal this week, he should be a lock to appear in another rap video, shortly.

Premier League
Liverpool v. Derby County
9:55 a.m., Setanta
It's pronounced "Darby," guys. I can't stress that enough.

Premier League
Manchester United v. Sunderland
Noon, Fox Soccer Channel
I don't know about you, but I'm taking Man U's one-point lead in the standings over Sunderland as evidence that this one will be a thriller. That's not completely in jest, either: The Devils have scored exactly one goal through three games, and they'll be without Ronaldo (suspension) and Rooney, who's apparently trying to convince everyone he can play with a broken foot. Yes, Man-U should roll, but let's not assume the season-opening slump is over until it's actually over. Oh, and this game also marks the return of former Manchester United captain Roy Keane to Old Trafford, this time as Sunderland's manager. Can he pull one over on Fergie?

Serie A
Empoli v. Inter Milan
2:25 p.m., Fox Soccer Channel
OK, it's probably a little early to say Inter's "slumping," but the season-opening draw against Udinese was baffling, considering last year's Scudetto winner went to great lengths to get even better in the offseason. Inter usually reserves its swan-dives for European competition, so expect the Nerazzuri to actually show up. That said, Empoli's a plucky squad that's looking to prove a point after a UEFA Cup berth, and Inter just received news that stopper Marco Materazzi will be out for at least a couple of months after a leg injury suffered in a friendly/humiliating loss to Hungary last week. Materazzi said the injury was "fate," and a sign that he was not meant to slander any of the French players' sisters in the Sept. 8 Euro Cup qualifier. Il Dio, truly, works in mysterious ways.

Sunday
Premier League
Arsenal v. Portsmouth
8 a.m., Setanta
The good news for the Gooners is that Pompey hasn't won a road fixture since before this writer was a footie fan (OK, not really). More good news for Arsenal is that L.A.H. (Life After Henry) hasn't turned out to be all that bad, thanks in large part to the early-season exploits of Fabregas and Van Persie. The good news for Pompey? They were a goalkeeper error away from a 0-0 draw against Chelsea last week, though I'm sure Mourinho would tell you the only reason the Blues didn't score another goal was because he wanted them to work on passing within the box.

Serie A
Roma v. Siena
9 a.m., Fox Soccer Channel
I'm not going to lie: This game will be an absolute beat-down. But it should be a pretty beat-down; have I mentioned that Roma plays the most beautiful football in the world right now? Fawning aside, the Giallorossi have two fairly easy fixtures left before a tone-setting tilt against Juventus on Sept. 23, and Francesco Totti did not look match-fit in the opener; these next two matches will be a much-needed opportunity for the Roma skipper to get his legs back before the real competition arrives.

Premier League
Aston Villa v. Chelsea
11 a.m., Fox Soccer Channel
Chelsea has 10 points through four games. Aston Villa has four, and that includes a win over a feckless Fulham squad. I only know two things: 1) Chelsea will win; 2) It will be closer than you think. Don't ask me to justify that statement; I just know it will be the case.

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Saturday, August 25, 2007

Welcome back, you old bags


"This should be a dignified year for our soccer. We need to provide certainties
in a country where all anyone talks about is soccer."
-
Serie A President Antonio Matarrese

The 2006-07 season was worse than anyone could have expected, in just about every sense imaginable, for Serie A. To say Italian Soccer was "shamed" would be an understatement; a league that already suffers from an inferiority complex thanks to sharing a continent with juggernauts like the Premier League and La Liga was made to look ridiculous last season. The match-fixing scandal that sent down Juventus and led to point reductions for four other teams reinforced the notion abroad that Serie A was a relatively lawless league, as did the mid-season Sicilian derby riot in Catania, which resulted in the death of police officer, a suspension of matches for more than a week, and half the remaining league games being played behind closed doors. That kind of negative publicity — make that outright embarrassment — will likely have the effect of a talent drain on the league, as players with free transfers decide that perhaps they'd rather ply their trade somewhere a little less unstable.



It's difficult to play the hypothetical game, but it's not a stretch to say that had those two events not taken place, 2006-07 could have been a banner year for Serie A. Inter put up a season for the ages, and while it's easy to say that Juve's absence made it less credible, it's not a stretch to believe that the nerazurri would have lapped the field no matter what (though a poor showing in the Champions League took some lustre out of the season). Milan further augmented its position in European football with a rousing march to the Champions League title, and Roma's trip to the semifinals — mostly on the strength of Golden Boot winner Francesco Totti — was no small feat either. Even better, that it was those two particular teams, who play the most attractive football Italy has to offer, succeeding on the international stage took the wind out of the sails of critics who trot out the same, tired crap about Italian soccer being the aesthetic equivalent of a molasses waterfall.

That said, it just wasn't the same without Juve, the Yankees of Italian soccer. Beyond the fact that anything that happened last season comes with a qualification ("Yeah, but that was the year Juventus was beating up on the Riminis of the world"), the TV schedule was noticeably absent of watchable games. And one game into the new season, The Old Lady put together a game that served notice to the rest of league, featuring a four-goal flurry in the final 20 minutes of its game against relegation-bound Livorno en route to a 5-1 victory. Yes, this team isn't of the same class as the 2005-6 squad, thanks to the post-penalty defections of a handful of the team's best players, but it's a team good enough to earn a Champions League berth and be considered one of the four teams with a legitimate shot at the Scudetto.

It's trendy to say this could be one of the greatest seasons in Serie A's recent history. Inter is perhaps even more frightening this season, after picking up Roma standout left back Christian Chivu and forward David Suazo. Milan is what it always is, a world-class side that will have a full season with Ronaldo up front. Roma has put together a side capable both of playing the country's prettiest football, and of making a sustained run at the title, picking up a half-dozen players in the transfer market to flank Totti. And Juve is, well, Juve.

But it goes beyond the possibility that this could be a season for the ages; it's safe to say that a season for the ages is needed if Serie A is to continued being mentioned in the same breath as its peers to the east.

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Friday, August 24, 2007

Call it a hunch


These aren’t the best of times for US Soccer. With the exception of two wins over Mexico, there hasn’t been a whole lot to cheer about from the US National Team over the last calendar year. The Copa America was an unmitigated disaster and USSF president Sunil Gulati should be taken to task on why he chose to send an experimental team that succeeded only in reaffirming the world’s perception of American soccer – that it isn’t any good. Factor in an unexpected loss by the Under-20’s against Austria in the quarterfinals of a tournament we legitimately had a chance of winning and the current results from the Under-17 World Cup in Korea (4-3 loss to Tajikistan and 3-1 loss to Tunisia. Yes, Tajikistan and Tunisia), and it’s hard not to argue that US Soccer could soon be undergoing radical changes.



My stance on Gulati is well-documented – or at least I thought it was, but I seem to be missing an old post on why Gulati bit the bullet on waiting forever to not hire Jurgen Klinsmann. A brief recap: the four years in between World Cups isn’t as long as it may seem, and losing time by not hiring a coach forced the team to miss six months without any direction. Worse yet, Gulati backed into it by naming Bob Bradley as an interim coach, further showing that he had little confidence in Bradley and not hiding the fact that he wanted to make a sexy, big-name hire. And wasting another six months, so were now up to a year. Bradley ran with the job as if it were permanent, much to his credit and lack of ego (after Bruce Arena, it was a nice change), and the results and fan pressure – and the lack of interest from bigger names – meant the job was all Bradley’s. We were happy – Bradley was the right man for the job, and through the Gold Cup victory celebrations, there wasn’t any reason to complain.

I’m not waffling on Bradley as the guy to lead the US team – I like him, and I like his approach to leading the team. He seems to have a knack for making do with what’s in front of him. Problem is, there just isn’t a lot in front of him for him to ultimately succeed, and that’s going to be his downfall. And that’s why I have a hunch that Sunil Gulati will be using this losing skid in American soccer as an excuse to make drastic changes, beginning with the top and working his way down to the youth programs.

It’s no secret Gulati wants to make American soccer better; nobody can fault him for that. It’s also no secret that he believes we need to look beyond our borders to make that happen; nobody can really fault him for that, either. If there was a time when he could point to a couple results and make his point, now’s probably the time.

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Seriously, Bob Bradley hates Heath Pearce

Preamble
Us American soccer fans are never happy – maybe it’s the fact that none of our teams play exactly to our liking, or the game was a friendly against mediocre opposition, or the team wasn’t our strongest, or the game got zero media coverage or having to put up with comments from those that don’t know the game. So forgive me if I’m not too excited about an August 22nd friendly in Sweden, during a time in which most leagues around the world are either wrapping up their preseason or just beginning the regular season. This game will most likely come and go on the overcrowded international soccer calendar – who would have ever thought we’d be more excited about Pachuca vs. Los Angeles next week? – but when a player says the best feeling is putting on the jersey and representing his country, we have to believe that and do our best to remember that, yes, as fans, we have a very important role too. If we don’t care about the international friendly against Sweden, or Catalonia, or Switzerland…why should anybody who doesn’t care about the sport either? With that said, I’d like to introduce you to Booked, the brainchild of, well, me. I hope to provide you with thoughtful and, at the very least, somewhat interesting analysis of American soccer, and I hope you become a member of this hopefully-growing community. The ultimate goal, like playing in a World Cup, is to start a real magazine dedicated to the sport and its fans, but like friendlies like today’s and qualifiers and all those “meaningless” games, the journey is just as important. Besides, there’s always room for one more website to rip on Landon Donovan.

-B



Prematch
We’re live from Gothenburg, Sweden, as the US plays its first match on European soil during the Bob Bradley Era and first since bowing out on an overcast day last year in Nuremburg. ESPN felt that the Little League World Series was more important than this friendly, and somehow Fox Soccer Channel managed to squeeze this in between reruns of classic AC Milan games (Milan-Deportivo, 2000!) and West Ham-Bolton (an aside: while I love FSC and appreciate them to death, can we A) get Nick Webster off our television screens and, more importantly, out of our sound-range, and B) relax on the bottom-tier of the Premiership coverage? And don’t get me started on the fact that you apparently need an accent – English, Scottish, Irish, Canadian, Argentinian…it doesn’t matter – to work there.)

There’s this thing now, that’s driving me wild, I gotta see what’s up, before it gets me down: I can’t really fault anything Bob Bradley has done with this team – my main beef would be with how USSF president Sunil Gulati handled the whole situation and, worse, had the audacity to approve these. But what’s with his loyalty to Jonny Bornstein? Isn’t the first year of a World Cup cycle to see who can help the team? Judging by things, left-back seems to be our second-most iffy position (the first being forwards who can score, obviously), but we rarely get a real good look at Heath Pearce. I mean, the guy has gotten very little favor on the way up from anyone with an American passport – he was one of the last cuts on both the U-17 and U-20 teams in 2001 and 2003, respectively; he went to Denmark and, with hard work, established himself as one of the top defenders there and now starts for Hansa Rostack in the Bundesliga. Is this all worth nothing? It’s like reverse-racism going on – This American boy is no good for us!! - or at least nepotism. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I’m not sold on Bornstein, although he has shown some good things. Since we play so many games in the US these days, why not give him those and then let Pearce see the field when we’re over in Europe?

P.S. I’m rambling because I am waiting for Brazil-Algeria to finish. Algeria?? The best part is Ronaldinho is now wearing #20 for the Samba Boys, which either means Dunga hates him more than we thought or that he’s twice as good as a #10.

Bob Bradley will have the US come out in a 4-15-1 formation today. Apparently his son isn’t enough, so we need Pablo Mastroeni to make risky tackles from behind and get sent off. I love Michael Bradley and all, but Jesus Christ! Can we stop with the sweeping of the opponents’ legs while sliding from five yards behind them?

The US actually comes out with a 4-4-2, according to FSC, but come on, we all know it’s really a 4-5-1 (even a 4-6-0 since we lack a true forward!). Dempsey and Donovan start up top on the graphic, but hopefully Landon drops to right midfield like where he’s been playing with the Galaxy. Who will play attacking midfielder? I’m guessing this will be our biggest downfall.

1st Minute: And, finally, we’re under way! Say what you want about MLS crowds, but there’s nobody in the stands tonight in Gothenburg either. The US is in all- white, Sweden in all-blue. No yellow?

2nd Minute Sweden nearly scores. After a giveaway by Bradley, Zlatan Ibrahimovic sets up his teammate who fires wide from the top of the box. Tim Howard is understandably upset.

3rd Minute What I’m about to say will surely be a surprise, but….Beasley misses the open net! While he didn’t blast it over this time, he does push the ball just wide after a great combination down the right flank by Dempsey and Feilhaber. One day, we’re going to have a replacement for Beasley that will be 10 times the player, and we’ll all giggle about the 7-8 years that Beez was the main man. Mark my word.

4th Minute He may be the cockiest dude on the planet, but Ibrahimovic is really, really good. And my god is he tall. He just played a one-touch ball down the line that was so simple and smooth, then appeared on the back post for the cross that was cleared away by Onyewu. It’s going to be great to see how Bocanegra and Gooch handle this guy. Max Bretos says he’s already “got his fangs out.” Um, okay.

7th Minute It’s not Cher-ooon-dolo, Max!

11th Minute My forecast that the US would be unable to hold the ball in the middle of the field has thus far rung true.

13th Minute The Swedes are respecting the US height in the middle of the defense. Already, three crosses of theirs have been driven low and hard. I think this is intentional.

14th Minute Ibrahimovic wrestles past Onyewu and has his first attempt stopped by Howard, then the second attempt towards an open net gets cleared by Gooch. Unreal. I mean, I know he’s good, but given my distaste for Italian soccer, I never see him anymore. He just tossed aside Bocanegra and Gooch with what I’d describe as “slippery strength.”

16th Minute Landon rips one from 30 yards out right at the Swedish keeper. Either he genuinely thought he could score from there (it was a hard, low shot on target, so I can’t fault him) or he’s been drooling too much over Beckham the last few weeks.

19th Minute You know, for all the negative reputations that Northern European teams get, these Swedes sure are fun to watch. They move the ball around well and, most importantly, quickly.

20th minute The US puts together a good string of play around the top of the box, but Bradley’s through ball doesn’t fall right for Feilhaber. Encouraging stuff.

22nd Minute My mom has my grandma call home every night to check in to make sure she’s okay – so she calls after every Tigers game finishes. Tonight, she was none too happy, as the Tigers lost to Cleveland 11-8. “Up and down, up and down!” she says. Is that cool or what?

27th Minute After Feilhaber’s golazo against Mexico, every US player thinks they can do the same. First, Bradley tried, now Beasley tried after a cleared corner. To his credit, Beasley’s effort was pretty good, it just ran into all kinds of bodies in front of it.

29th Minute Great, quick counter from the US. Beasley sends in a good, low cross that’s cleared, but settles for Bradley, who successfully smashes it wide. Max Bretos got excited and called him “DempseyBradley!” The last few minutes have been very positive for the US – good crosses, good movement and Landon has had a few opportunities out on that right wing. Playing up top, my ass!

31st Minute Timmy! Howard stuffs Ibrahimovic in a one-v-one, then later Zlatan recovers and then jumps over Cheroondolo (sic) and heads a cross off the crossbar, literally seconds later. I know I shouldn’t gush over a player who should have scored twice in five seconds on two different plays, but man is he good. Moments later, Kallstrom gets the games first booking. Booked! Unfortunately I can’t find the dots over the letters to do this guy’s name justice.

38th Minute Beasley runs the tightrope for what seems like 100 meters before he gets fouled. As he’s getting up, Bornstein plays the quick restart right to him, so Sweden gets a quick counter-attack. This time, Gooch does well against Zlatan and the US gets out of trouble. It’s stuff like this that goes unnoticed but changes games all the time.

40th Minute I’m really impressed by the high level of play from these two teams. It seems like there’s a corner kick every two minutes and there’s little mucking up in the middle of the park. Good excitement/

42nd Minute Cheroondolo gets away with a decision that could have gone either way, quite frankly. He chases down the last man and gets his body between the man and the ball. If this was a World Cup, Cheroondolo would have been sent off and there would have been a PK.

45th Minute Christopher Sullivan says this game will “open up” in the second half. Christ, it’s already a track meet. He also says the Swedes play direct, which to me always sounds like a backhanded compliment. They aren’t firing up long balls to the forwards, but that’s what “direct’ always sounds like. A lot of times, I wish announcers (especially ones who are watching on TV, just like us) would

Halftime If you think I’m worried that MLS has started a new magazine, think again. I would have bought it at Borders the other day, but the cover used two inks, black and cyan, while the inside was in full color. As a graphic designer, I was appalled, and have set my sights on destroying it.

And “The Clash of Champions” is September 9th in Chicago, in case you didn’t know. In addition to over-selling the event, when a simple “Brazil will play soccer in the United States!” would suffice, can we stop this tradition of naming events like they were exhibition tennis matches?

I could watch Zlatan play (and botch sitters) all day, but I hope he’s done after the first half. Honestly, this cat is out of control. He could have scored three in the first half alone, but as it stands, we’re still knotted up at nil-nil. He’s really the only Swede of note (and he’s Bosnian!) today, but he’s a one-man wrecking crew. How was Sweden, with him and Henrik Larsson, not do any better than they did???

46th Minute Beasley is now on the right, presumably because Feilhaber had a completed pass-to-turnover ratio of 1:8 in the first half. Meanwhile, Swedish television refused to announce to us that Bobby Convey is in the game, but for who? Hip-Hip-Hooray! We love Bobby! Good to see you back, Bobby! (I’m not being sarcastic – I really like Bobby and love the way he attacks defenders. It’s a rare trait in American players)

49th Minute Zlatan settles in the box but has his back to goal, so lays it back for Andersssssson, who nails it in the corner of the goal. Oh wait! Timmy Howard snared that, improbably. Great save. Back the other way, Sweden’s keeper does the same trick on Dempsey.

53rd Minute Unintentional Comedy Line of the Game: Chris Sullivan just calls Sweden “ethnic.”

55th Minute Meanwhile, Max Bretos says the attendance is just over 20,000 and “the place is packed.” We get it, Max, you aren’t broadcasting this one live from Sweden.

56th Minute GOAL! Out of nowhere Kim Kallstrom (Ajax, baby!) rips one past Howard. On the assist was #9, who does the old two-handed shove to clear away Cheroondolo and gets away with it you’d think about as well as he gets away with his comb-over. Sketchy no-call, as it clearly aided the shot. The US not winning nor getting calls in Europe…weird.

61st Minute Reason #1,543 why Landon Donovan shouldn’t play forward: He is always the guy, admirably, making a great run into the box, then gets a great cross that’s….a foot over his head because he’s too short.

64th Minute Jonathan Spector and Kamani Hill come in for Landon Donovan and Bornstein. Bretos almost nails the foreshadowing by mentioning how long Donovan will be able to play just seconds before the substitution happens. Moments later, Zlatan dances and plays an almost perfect ball into the middle of the box that the US just barely wins. And just like that, that’s the last we’ll see of this breathtaking player, as he’s substituted for Peter Forsberg (presumably)…my man-crush can officially subside. Actually, he’s replaced by a former Ajax guy, Markus Rosenberg, who probably isn’t much Swedish either.

76th Minute Jay DeMerit and Sal Zizzo (first cap) enter the game. Did you know Jay DeMerit was an unlikely success story, climbing through the ranks of English soccer and hit the big-time last year?! Me neither. Zizzo was an intriguing player at the U-20 World Cup in Canada, but I think I speak for everyone when I say I’d rather see Jozy Altidore out there out of anybody from that team. But Zizzo now plays for Hannover, so good for him. Getting a spot on a European team is great news for everyone when it comes to playing for the USA. Oh, except if your name happens to be Heath Pearce.

79th Minute I’m fading fast – live-blogging is hard work. Plus, I’m at close to 2,500 words! And this half has been decent, but not as exciting as the first half.

84th Minute DeMerit gets caught forward and, seconds later, is chasing a forward back. Luckily, the Swede misses the net.

90th Minute Kamani Hill and Cheroondolo work hard to keep possession on the right flank, a series that ultimately ends with Cheroondolo getting fouled. On the ensuing free kick, Convey’s ball is glanced towards Shabaan (sp?) by Bradley, and the keeper fumbles it but reclaims it just before Jay DeMerit sends the ball along with the Swede’s teeth into the net. Close one for the US.

Wrap-up
As I said in the intro, we American soccer fans are never happy. Sportswriters (and ESPN.com) will focus on the fact that the US losing streak has reached four games overall and is now up to 77 on European soil, but there were plenty of positives to glean from this one. The team didn’t bunker in and played in a very entertaining game, and created chances. But, as usual, they didn’t do much with those chances. Still, after the disappointing Copa America, it was nice to see a team that was competitive. Moral victories, or moral draws, aren’t worth much – except in international soccer friendlies! Bravo, lads! Bravo, fans!

Final: Sweden 1, USA 0

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